Dawn

In the early hours of a new genesis, I emerge from a long slumber, ripe

with transformative lines, as if I were asleep face down

on earth, hunkered down for three years,

lines grooved into my cheeks, some from a long inner sleep, others carved

                  from wisdom earned of

                                                 struggle.

Where have you been, I ask.  What have you seen? 

What news do you have that I can glean, stuff into my pack and

carry to the next door, creaking open for a glimpse? 

What will I find there? 

Glowing suns, lush pastures, sugar cookies, butter and walnuts

cradled into honey and dough,

planted into rich humus, berries dripping from terra cotta. 

This, and more, you say.

And it is good.

Build the new hearth with unearthed stones from Nordic firma that is now,

                  at long last,

                                    yours to walk on. 

Build the new foundation from two grown sons, flown and creating stories from pieces of your lore and love, sewn neatly into their coat linings. 

Yours is frayed, well worn, looking for new threads, green stalks along your well tread road, to fortify, weave a coat you will wear until your grey is set free,

                  flowing long and wild,

                                     once and for all;

enmeshed ‘tween tiny sticky fingers;

your flesh intertwined with theirs, your history lodged between their tiny toes;

toes spreading on tended grounds,

finding footing in the wild gardens of your fossiled youth,

safe and inviting to nubile shoots looking for food, love, treasures and trueness.

Truths that have come full circle, rebirthed in innocence, speaking your wisdom

                  for the ages. 

The lines on my face curl upward,

thanking the goddesses

                  for all that has,

                                            all that is.

Tits and Tats

 “When are you going to get a real job?” Uncle Ron asked for the seventh time this week.

But I DO have a real job.  I am a full time musician!

This running dialogue had reached its pinnacle of frustration.  When Uncle Ron painted the living room last year, the very long drive home daily to his home in the milky white Stepfordesque la la land of the far north suburbs precipitated his need to spend the night.  She dreaded those sleepover painting jobs because the statements, questions and conversations that ensued were always the same.

“There are a lot of coloreds in this town.  They cause trouble?”

  No, they own homes here, Uncle.  It’s safe to walk our streets.

She knew each afternoon when she arose after getting to bed at 4:30am that he would give her that sideways looks and then grief about her employment.  At least he gave her time to yawn and open her eyes before he barraged her with the carbon copy conversation of last time.  She had learned to race downstairs in stealth fashion, grab a bowl of yogurt and blueberries and race back to her room before he could form his not so clever quips. 

Uncle, you need some new material.

But he didn’t understand her sarcasm, raised in a small monochromatic town where sons followed in the footsteps of fathers becoming painters and carpenters, mechanics and electricians.  This afternoon was different.  Uncle did have some new material.  He chose to focus on her tattoos today, catching a glimpse of one peeking out from her jersey running shorts she threw on after the gig last night.

“Do you know what those are going to look like when you get my age?”

You mean 78? 

She wanted to throw a dig back at him in retaliation every chance she got.

“You should have thought twice about drawing that, what the fuck is that thing on your thigh?”

It’s the universal goddess figure.

Oh, what the fuck am I trying to explain anything to this archaic dinosaur, she whispered through clenched teeth under her breath.

But this comment, unlike all the others she regularly dismissed, hit her like a brick.  It was something she had thought about actually.  She would be the first one to point out old women with old tats on their tits or chest or neck.  She would repel in disgust at how the legs and torsos of sailor tats were longer and leaner, eye sockets hollow and black, smiles now frowns.  These faded pictures ink a former life of the dyed bleach blonde now yellowed with age and sporting a raccoon stripe of grey down the middle.  The once gorgeous blonde bombshell was now forty eight pounds heavier, which is way apparent in the kumquat shaped, stretched out strawberry tat now pink from years of skin sloughing, the skinny fat juxtaposition that was baby making, now reanimating these ink creatures, giving them new form.

She thought of the women at Walmart, especially that braless redhead, whose nipples now brush her hipbones.  Sticking out the top of Red’s low scoop neck tank was the long ago faded ice cream tattoo with cherry atop sitting in a partially hidden waffle cone and she wondered if the cone’s bottom now drips the ‘melted’ ice cream concoction down those baby ravaged udders and onto her hipbones and then down her legs.  That vision repulsed her to even imagine it.

Where do old tats go?  Do they slip off bodies at an age society deems is taboo and inappropriate for an aging human?  What age is that, she wondered?  Is there a tat cemetery where old eagles and pin up girls and dragons are put to rest?  A tat retirement home where they can all sit around the popcorn machine after dinner at 4pm and tell old glory stories of how they came to be?

Maybe, she thought, human history could be mapped using body art as the language once a person can no longer remember which drug induced spring break or double dare produced which tattoo.

Does ink re-liquefy at cremation temperatures?  Would her goddess return back to the earth after her own children cremated her remains?  She had always been a recycling type of person.  The thought of her earth goddess returning the earth from whence it came made her smile.

“What are you smiling for?  Your kids are going to be really embarrassed at your wake if you show that thing.” Uncle barked at her.  “Just sayin’.”

You just say a lot of things, Unc.  But you got me on this one.  Got me thinking.

“It’s about time you were thinking.  Thinking about getting a real job.”

Sure thing, Uncle.  Sure thing.

Those Dang Rabbits!

Ostara and her Rabbits! Do you remember when I said in various essays, blogs, etc., that if you focus on the attributes of a goddess, they become part of you?  Our friend and life coach, Nancy Gerenstein, talks about the law of attraction, which is defined as “That which is likened to itself is drawn”. Well, I am here to say that it is true in every sense of the word.  Unfortunately, this month, what I drew to me was not the great attributes of the Spring Solstice goddess Ostara, but her title and her symbol, New Beginnings and the Rabbit.   It appears that I now have the tree of life in my own backyard.  As the Spring Solstice dawns around us, we see the beauty that only Spring can bring – budding trees, tulips, daffodils, crocus and wildlife.  Chirping birds, squirrels, and rabbits.  Lots and lots of rabbits. They have been hanging around my yard, cavorting, playing; but it wasn’t until I began filling the bird feeder that I was witness to the plentitude of hungry critters.  Nests of birds in the Tree of Life Maple and my weeping Katsura tree.  Mason bees foraging for food.  Carpenter bees back AGAIN, tunneling into my garage eaves.  Birds dive-bombing the feeder, squirrels on top of the squirrel-proof feeder, trying to pry open the top (which is quite a funny site to see), and birds happily sharing the feast by dumping buckets of seed onto the ground below (which will sprout and I will have millet growing among the clematis and roses all summer). Two squirrels were wrestling on the wooden chairs my father made that surround the fire pit, tumbling over one another like two little kids.  Robins and cardinals watched the frolicking from another chair.  And very large rabbits sat quietly nearby, nibbling on the tender shoots from the small fescues near the fire pit.  I could come very close without scaring any of them away.  As if this was THEIR yard.   From the porch, my yard looks like a scene from Steve Carrell’s movie, Evan Almighty, complete with The Tree of Life in the center! The very comfortable, large rabbit had been sitting in five  “out of view” places in my garden.  She thought they were not in view of anyone, but she took for granted that this is my garden, not hers, and I know every nook and cranny of it.  Upon closer view, each of these areas contained a nest of newborn bunnies!  There are bunnies all over my yard!  I am not a visionary, but I saw each and every one of my newly sprouted bean, lettuce, carrot and cucumber plants mowed to the ground by these hungry little buggers.  And I could see bites out of each vine-ripened tomato.  Now I know I can’t blame just Ostara’s critters for this annihilation of vegetables.  I know the rabbits and birds will be sharing in the feast as well.  So I started planning.  First I will build taller brick garden beds.  Well, not me, but my husband will (he has no choice).  And the bottom of the garden beds will have mesh so the forest life will not dig under the bed to get in.  Mind you, the beds already exist so we are talking about starting over from scratch. I know that if you disturb the nests (no, I won’t touch the babies as she would kill or abandon them), the mother bunny will move her babies to safer areas.  Well, she didn’t.  I moved the nest covering.  She came back and moved it back into place.  This has continued over the last few days.  I move, she moves back.  I am fighting with a rabbit. My son was playing some Middle Eastern music today and it reminded me of George Harrison’s concert for Bangladesh.  I envisioned my own concert for bunny Bangladesh when they ravage my garden and there is no food left.  Will they then follow me around like little beggar children in the streets? Thank you Goddess Ostara, for the new beginnings that each spring gives us.  But please, please, enough already with the bunnies!

Finding Yourself in These Chaotic Times!

There are many faces modern women present to the world. We are the working professional, partner, lover, mother, caretaker, friend. No matter what the situation, women need to draw on a wide range of resources to keep it all together. It is said and written that tapping into goddess energy is one way to ensure you get through each day with your integrity intact.

I know, what the heck does that mean?  We hear it all the time lately.  Find your inner goddess and all will be right in your world.  Right….  So who is this goddess?  Is she pretty?  Strong?  Alluring? What qualities does she have that I might want to “tap into?”  Are we not goddesses already?

According to goddess.com.au, "being goddess is being able to recognize within one's self the things that are important, and then to strike the single note that brings them into alignment with everything else that exists." That is, by channeling the strengths of the real "You" so that the true You shines through with honesty and dignity, your goddess energy radiates a confidence, beauty and inspiration to those around you.

Creation by Her Gaia, by Sandra M. Stanton

I like to look at historical and mythological goddesses and their attributes to see how they might correlate to my life.  This month we look at Gaia.  In Greek mythology, Gaia (Ge) was the primal goddess personifying the earth. She was the Protogenos (primeval divinity) of earth, one of the primal elements who first emerged at the dawn of creation, along with air, sea and sky. She was the great mother of all : the heavenly gods were descended from her union with Ouranos (the sky), the sea-gods from her union with Pontos (the sea), the Gigantes from her mating with Tartaros (the hell-pit) and mortal creatures were sprung or born from her earthy flesh. Gaia was born out of chaos, and out of that turmoil, the world was created.  How wonderful!

She was "born" of Chaos, but this was not really a birth; as Chaos receded, Gaia came into being.  She birthed hundreds of children. Gaia was the first deity, from whom all others sprang.

Let’s look at chaos. When systems can no longer function, creating instability, a breakdown occurs.  There is talk all everywhere these days about the end of the world in 2012.  Is it the end of the world or the end of the world as we know it?

Have you felt an increasing instability in your life, a discomfort, a feeling that you can’t quite put your finger on?  It’s just enough agitation to make you uncomfortable, antsy.  I have felt this in the past and came to learn that if you sit with the discomfort, let it play itself out, comfort will come again.  Are you feeling ‘tapped out’ lately?  I know I am feeling this, as well as wondering what I am doing, why I am doing it and is it really what I want to do!

Could we all be in transition in our own lives?  I recently made a huge change and then a few months after that, another huge change was dropped in my lap.  I am not surprised at all.  It’s as if the world as we know it right now has been tossed up into the air and the pieces have not fallen back down to ground yet.  Where they will land and how they will land have yet to be determined. Can we guide where we will land after this year is over?

Some people fall apart when the status quo is upended, when disharmony occurs.  Denial used to be the best way to handle this discomfort.  I have a friend who told me he “shelves” uncomfortable feelings, relationships, never to return to them.  Of course, we know they all return to tap us on the shoulder, saying “remember me?”

It’s time to develop a new mind-set. According to Ervin Laszlo, author of Chaos Point, we are at a critical juncture in history, a "decision-window" where we face the danger of global collapse—or the opportunity for global renewal.  He says there are two types of growth possible – extensive growth and intensive growth. Extensive growth conquers, dominates, colonizes, consumes, and is unsustainable. Intensive growth develops individuals, communities and ecologies; it connects and communicates, develops consciousness and produces sustainability.

Laszlo’s term for the coming transition, in which we must develop a new mind-set, or worldview and a new structure for society, is Logos-Holos:  logos, meaning word of God or the current principal governing the cosmos; and holos, meaning the whole.

I say, change is a-comin’.  It is inevitable.  We must evolve to survive.  What does that mean to you?  For me evolution of consciousness is the key – I have to start thinking in new ways because the old ways of doing and thinking don’t seem to be working anymore.  The time for bandaging problems is over.  Time to look at the whole issue and fix it once and for all.  I have been meditating much more and trying to work more yoga into my daily routine.  What do you do to calm yourself, get back to homeostasis? 

Prayer, walks in the woods, gardening, dance – whatever it is that brings us back into balance is what we all should be seeking.   Through all of this irritation, Gaia, Mother Earth, is creating a pearl.  Anticipating...beautiful.

"The road to happiness lies in two simple principles: find what it is that interests you and that you can do well, and when you find it put your whole soul into it - every bit of energy and ambition and natural ability you have.”

John D. Rockefeller III

Spring "Soulstice" - food for the soul!

As a group of amazing women and I get ready to hold our Spring Soulstice event in Forest Park on March 22, I came across an article I shared on my website some time ago and it seemed relevant to what is coming up.  We use Goddess archetypes and their attributes to help us in our everyday lives.  It is fun to learn about the many goddesses and what made them special and then decide which parts of them we would like to embody in our own lives.  Please join us by clicking here!

How to be a Goddess  

By Anita Revel

There are many faces modern women present to the world. In the space of one day, you can be the professional at work, partner and career at home, and fun-lover with friends. No matter what the situation, women need to draw on a wide range of resources to keep it all together. Tapping into goddess energy is one way to ensure you get through each day with your integrity intact.

SELF PRESERVATION. Being goddess is about being in tune with oneself, being able to recognize threatening situations and respond rationally and calmly. Trust your instinct and act with confidence. Be conscious of the influence of others’ moods and needs and stay balanced in times of duress. Manifest security and a dynamic presence by keeping your feet firmly on the ground, literally.

SELF GRATIFICATION. Creatively, emotionally and sexually, connect with others through feeling, desire, sensation and movement. Learn to accept change gracefully and don’t be afraid to let your depth of feelings show. In addition, a poverty consciousness will only serve to deny what you deserve. Abundance is good, (greed is not), whether it be material, esoteric, emotional or otherwise. Ask for what you want and deserve, and providing it’s not for selfish reasons, give yourself permission to receive it.

SELF DEFINITION. Being goddess is more than just alabaster skin and an Elle McPherson body. Apart from round abdomens and swinging breasts, common attributes of ancient goddesses include uncompromising strength, compassion and justice. Spend time working out who you are, who you want to be, and then honoring the true you in the image you present to everyone you meet. Write your own eulogy then circle the five most important elements that you would want people to remember you by. Then, live according to those attributes to make them a habit.

SELF ACCEPTANCE. If you don’t love yourself, then don’t expect others too either. If you let others treat you badly, you are telling your inner psyche that you do not deserve better. The modern goddess gal never, ever allows herself to accept second best. Rally your personal power and self-respect and learn to say words like “No” and “Enough.” Most importantly, mean what you say! On the other side of the coin, give compliments freely, for if ‘what goes around comes around’ you will soon enjoy receiving plenty in return.

SELF EXPRESSION. What you say is what you get. Expressions like, “I’ll never be able to get over this obstacle,” will manifest in exactly the way you describe. Instead of confronting and overcoming your fears, you will remain stagnant, bashing your head against the brick wall you say can’t be knocked down. Change your speech habits to dispel negatives and embrace positives. Say “I can do it,” and next thing you know, you’ll be leaping brick walls in a single bound.

SELF REFLECTION. Get over petty issues and open your vision to see the Big Picture. If you are absorbed in trivial worries, they are most likely a distraction mechanism to keep you from what it is you really need. If you had three months left to live, would you really care about your shade of lipstick, upgrading your mobile phone, or getting the best table at the hottest restaurant in town? It’s up to you to prioritize what the important things really are. Make a list of your dreams for the next week, year, and/or decade. Circle one thing on each list and commit to make it happen, one step at a time.

SELF KNOWLEDGE. See yourself as a minute organism in the ways of the world, both in the physical and non-physical planes, in the present and the future. Disconnecting with the world every now and then can be healthy if it lets you travel to a spaceless, timeless place of knowledge, wisdom, understanding and spiritual connection. To revitalize flagging energy levels, practice yoga and meditation when possible. Time poor? Take the phone off the hook and power-rest for five minutes – this time-out for self can be just as refreshing.

All is Done....And All is New

Anxiety is the handmaiden of creativity. -- T.S. Eliot

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.  -- T.S. Eliot

My personal meditation on the decision to transform Baubo’s Garden
It is done. It is complete. You are safe, sound, whole, alive. A weight has been lifted. You are warm and whole again.

So, begin again. Goddesses rejoice. Hear their laughter as they surround you. Lead the way to your destiny, your fate. Abundance, laughter, joy, rapture. Feel it. Be it. Be one. Let life flow beside you. Drift in peace knowing you are okay.

Using metaphors for life, change was the long difficult pregnancy. I labored and labored and birthed the new model of me. I persevered till the end, and the beginning. I have been set free to fly to new places, forage like a honey bee searching for the pollen of life to take back to the hive (within) and create the sweet honey nectar of my life; and then to share that sweetness. Forgive my mixed metaphor, but I come from a background of horticulture, where life cycles are key and gardening relates so much to our lives.

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.-- T. S. Eliot

You know when you need to move. Your body tells you. Your soul tells you. Some years back, I stopped hearing the music, refused to listen to it for over a year. I am a musician and I was burned out. To me, music is the juice that flows through me, charges me, makes me vibrant. I lost that music of my soul for a time, while life spiraled around me.
It is as T.S. Elliot explains, “It is music heard so deeply that it is not heard at all, but you are the music while the music lasts.”

That is being in the moment, when all is right with your world; everything is aligned; you are at peace; you are creating. This is what I want next – to create that peace; that in just being, it transcends beyond you, to all you come in contact with; to help provide a space, an idea, a peaceful, safe place where others can find their own music or nectar within themselves. That is the task at hand.

The Gnostic way of knowing is feminine wisdom. It is insight, intuition, the process of knowing oneself. To know oneself at the deepest level is to also know God, or your higher power, or whatever, however you understand if for yourself.

I did some free writing last December and wrote that we must align our core essence and then work outwards from it. Clear the core of who you are, shine it up and it will glow outwards. Hearts Within – Love Without.

Let us join on this journey of discovery, hope, love and charity, hand in hand, upward and onward…

Change and Transformation - Today and Always!

It is the season of change - as summer winds down and we feel the cool autumn breezes blow in, we know change is coming. Memories of summer vacations are tucked away into photo albums, children are going back to school, summer work hours abate and we dive head first back into our work. Change. Sometimes subtle, sometimes brutal.

Change doesn't ask our permission into our lives. The status quo is comfy, settled into ourselves. If we are lucky, we can foresee it coming and try to adjust with the least amount of agitation to our current situation. Most of the time, it sideswipes us when we least expect it. Think about it - jobs, family, health. No one would ever make changes there if we weren't forced into it.

But change and the transformation that accompanies it can be the best thing we could have asked for. Of course, that is after we have made it through. I've begun the process of looking at Goddesses and their attributes and how they relate to our present lives, how they can help.

Goddess Oya, is a perfect goddess to start this coming season. She represents change and transformation. She is there to help identify and get rid of all the old wood in our lives.

The Goddess of Transformation urges us to die to the old in order to step into the new lives that we desire. OYA is always searching for the parts of you that are outdated and no longer serve you, brings them to the surface and asks that you release them.


But the funny thing is that we fight to hold on to these parts of ourselves. They are comfortable for us. These characteristics and beliefs are what we know and are tied to our identity. And the more we realize they no longer serve us and try to remove them, they hold on tighter in our body, mind and soul.

I'm at that place again; that uncomfortable unknowing that comes from letting go of one object/person/view/thought/fill in the blank,  to make way for the next, the new.  I am excited to understand that by sitting with the discomfort, the anxiety, will unfold the newness of change.  For the first time, I am stepping into an open place and letting it define itself without my pestering input!.  It knows me.  That unknown knows what I am capable of more than I do.  So I will sit quietly (well, maybe not that quietly) and wait for the gift that is coming.  Oy-Ya!
(click on blog title for more info or here on Oya)

Manifesting the Monkey Mind!

I re-read an older blog entry today.  It is good to go back and re-read your journals, notes, etc.  Each time they give another insight.  It was about manifesting.  And the first quote was
"All we are is a result of what we have thought." Buddha

And I thought about that a bit.  And I thought about all of the seeds, dreams, wishes I have made in the past few years to see where they all are today.  Manifesting.  What really is it?  Does it really happen?  I have had these thoughts lately, been questioning a whole bunch.  Where am I, am I where I want to be, am I close to what I wanted....  You have to re-assess at different points in your life.

I feel I am at another crossroads....again.... Sometimes it seems as if I will never be satisfied.  Or maybe, it is because I need to learn constantly.  I am always eager to learn something new.  And I put my all into learning that "thing".  Then, once learned, it's time to move onto the next learning experience.  That mode of learning has put me in new situations more often than I can remember.

I have changed careers 3 times in the last 25 years.  I guess in the big scheme of things, that isn't a lot. But each has been an extreme of the next one!  And each has given me such experiences, such knowledge.  Yes, I have been able to manifest each one of these changes.  They did not goes as originally planned, but hey, that's how it goes.  Those seeds/dreams/ideas have a life of their own once planted.

Problem is there are these seeds growing and none have presented themselves as forerunners in my life at the moment.  Nothing seems that urgent right now.  Here is a portion of what I wrote over a year ago.


Your life is a physical manifestation of the thoughts in your head. An affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative thought. Whatever you are thinking and feeling today is creating your future. Your thoughts and feelings create your life. When you think of it in this way, your future depends upon positive thoughts! We can change our path through a shift in our awareness.


Okay.  If my life is a physical manifestation of the thoughts in my head, then no wonder why I feel I am going crazy.  There is no more room in my brain and each of these thoughts are living their own lives and dreaming their own dreams right now as we speak.  A phrase they use nowadays is "monkey brain", a constant chatter.  Something advanced meditation folk have learned to tame.  My monkeys are running wild, totally out of control!  I really wish one of those thoughts I thought about would take the lead so the others would quiet themselves for a while!
There were 5 different concepts/questions regarding manifesting:
1. ASK! The universe responds to your thoughts and wishes.


2. BELIEVE! If you believe that it is yours already, and show unwavering faith, you will attract the way for that wish to get to you; the path will appear!

3. DOUBT- If you doubt, this will lead to disappointment as what you desire will not come to you. Replace doubt with unwavering faith!


4. RECEIVE - FEEL the way you will feel once what you desire arrives. Put yourself into the frequency of what you're wanting. What would you feel like if you had it right now. Feel that.

5. ACT - When intuitive feeling is present, ACT ON IT! Visualizing what you want will help to materialize it. Dwell only upon the end results. FEEL the end result. The universe will figure out how it will manifest. All YOU have to do is feel it as already here.

Okay then.  I am ASKING that my gods, goddesses, angels, protectors and everyone else out there BELIEVE that my monkey brain is getting the best of me and I DOUBT whether I will make it through another sleepless night so I am hoping to RECEIVE some of your positive energy so that I may ACT on just one of the many ideas screaming in my head!  Oh, and did I say pretty please!!!!

p.s.  I actually DID make some requests today of these beings and made some plans and then a few new paths opened up just today.  Pretty amazing how this works, eh?  Now, if I can only wrangle the monkeys tonight so I can get a good nights sleep.......

Beauty in the Bra - October Breast Cancer Awareness Month

I am amazed at all of the response to our art bra project with Dominican University students. This was the first year we did this project and I already have new ideas for a much more expansive program next year. I want to include more stores, more goddesses, more events. Hmmm, I don't like to run, but could we have a 5K run to benefit the project? A goddess themed run? Hmmm, the ideas keep coming up. I am humbled by all the response, all of the women who have inspired me on this project, and who continue to inspire me in my work. Thank you all. http://oakpark.patch.com/articles/designers-bras-lift-awareness-support-breast-cancer-cures http://www.baubosgarden.com/content/beauty-bra-breast-cancer-awareness-month-0

How to be a Goddess

There are many faces modern women present to the world. In the space of one day, you can be the professional at work, partner and career at home, and fun-lover with friends. No matter what the situation, women need to draw on a wide range of resources to keep it all together. Tapping into goddess energy is one way to ensure you get through each day with your integrity intact. SELF PRESERVATION. Being goddess is about being in tune with oneself, being able to recognize threatening situations and respond rationally and calmly. Trust your instinct and act with confidence. Be conscious of the influence of others’ moods and needs and stay balanced in times of duress. Manifest security and a dynamic presence by keeping your feet firmly on the ground, literally. SELF GRATIFICATION. Creatively, emotionally and sexually, connect with others through feeling, desire, sensation and movement. Learn to accept change gracefully and don’t be afraid to let your depth of feelings show. In addition, a poverty consciousness will only serve to deny what you deserve. Abundance is good, (greed is not), whether it be material, esoteric, emotional or otherwise. Ask for what you want and deserve, and providing it’s not for selfish reasons, give yourself permission to receive it. SELF DEFINITION. Being goddess is more than just alabaster skin and an Elle McPherson body. Apart from round abdomens and swinging breasts, common attributes of ancient goddesses include uncompromising strength, compassion and justice. Spend time working out who you are, who you want to be, and then honoring the true you in the image you present to everyone you meet. Write your own eulogy then circle the five most important elements that you would want people to remember you by. Then, live according to those attributes to make them a habit. SELF ACCEPTANCE. If you don’t love yourself, then don’t expect others too either. If you let others treat you badly, you are telling your inner psyche that you do not deserve better. The modern goddess gal never, ever allows herself to accept second best. Rally your personal power and self-respect and learn to say words like “No” and “Enough.” Most importantly, mean what you say! On the other side of the coin, give compliments freely, for if ‘what goes around comes around’ you will soon enjoy receiving plenty in return. SELF EXPRESSION. What you say is what you get. Expressions like, “I’ll never be able to get over this obstacle,” will manifest in exactly the way you describe. Instead of confronting and overcoming your fears, you will remain stagnant, bashing your head against the brick wall you say can’t be knocked down. Change your speech habits to dispel negatives and embrace positives. Say “I can do it,” and next thing you know, you’ll be leaping brick walls in a single bound. SELF REFLECTION. Get over petty issues and open your vision to see the Big Picture. If you are absorbed in trivial worries, they are most likely a distraction mechanism to keep you from what it is you really need. If you had three months left to live, would you really care about your shade of lipstick, upgrading your mobile phone, or getting the best table at the hottest restaurant in town? It’s up to you to prioritize what the important things really are. Make a list of your dreams for the next week, year, and/or decade. Circle one thing on each list and commit to make it happen, one step at a time. SELF KNOWLEDGE. See yourself as a minute organism in the ways of the world, both in the physical and non-physical planes, in the present and the future. Disconnecting with the world every now and then can be healthy if it lets you travel to a spaceless, timeless place of knowledge, wisdom, understanding and spiritual connection. To revitalize flagging energy levels, practice yoga and meditation when possible. Time poor? Take the phone off the hook and power-rest for five minutes – this time-out for self can be just as refreshing.

Spiral Symbol

I got my first tattoo a little over a year and a half ago. It includes a picture of the goddess spiral.

A Spiral is one of the ancient Goddess symbols, as a sign of Life. As such, it is also one of the primary Wicca symbols.

A Spiral is a created by a Circle moving forward, so to speak. As the Wheel turns, you come around again, but not to the same point as before. You arrive at same place, but on a new level. A spiral line uncoiling is "the movement of creation," according to Arthur Avalon in Shakti and Shakta.

The Spiral represents the path of life - from your Essence, outward to the world. Or, depending on your perspective, from worldly existence to spiritual Essence. As Walker so eloquently phrases it, a Spiral represents "death and rebirth as movement into the disappearing-point of formlessness, and out of it again, to a new world of form."

The Spiral is one of the most common natural shapes, seen in nature from galaxies to sea shells to the pattern of a falcon's dive.  Spirals have been primary Goddess symbols since the late Paleolithic. It is the symbol of the womb, of fertility, the feminine serpent force. It represents continual change and evolution and the interconnectedness of all things.

It has always attracted me and I've come back again and again to the meaning behind the symbol, that I am continuing to evolve, from inner life and soul to outer soul and higher spirit, to become the goddess within. The goddess is the divine that resides in the heart of all wherever there is love, compassion and mercy.

Vestal Virgins

We were in Italy a few weeks back and visited the remains of the Temple of the Vestal Virgins. I found these women to be very powerful and interesting. Read on. The priestesses of the goddess Vesta were known as the Vestal Virgins. They were responsible for maintaining the sacred fire within the Temple of Vesta on the Forum Romanum. Other duties included performing rituals in regards to the Goddess Vesta, and baking the sacred salt cake to be used at numerous ceremonies in the year. They were the only female priests within the roman religious system. The head of the college of Vesta was called the Virgo Vestalis Maxima, and she was under the direct authority of the Pontifex Maximus. The college of Vesta had 18 members, though 6 were considered actual Vestal Virgins at any given time. They were selected from distinguished patrician families at an age from three to ten, and such appointments were considered a top honor for any family to receive. They each served thirty years, the first ten years as novices, then ten years as actual vestal virgins, and finally ten years as supervisors responsible for training the novices. After the thirty years of duty they were released from their duties and could then maintain a private life, including the right to marry.

For men, arranging a marriage with a former vestal virgin was highly prestigious, regardless of age or the ability to have children. The vestals vowed to live in chastity for the thirty years their tenure lasted. In return they were allowed many privileges not given to ordinary Roman women. As one example, the vestals were not subject to the pater potestas of their fathers. Essentially they were allowed to handle their own properties and engage in legal contracts, they were allowed to travel around the city in a carriage and they had special seats in the front row at the various games, where, in contrast women were normally relegated to the back seats. They were considered inviolable and sacred and their blood could not be spilt without fear of terrible repercussion from the gods. So sacred and divine-like were these priestesses, that if a person sentenced to death met a vestal virgin on his way to the execution, he would be automatically pardoned. Of course, special care would be taken to prevent or to make sure this would happen, depending on the circumstances.

While enjoying many benefits, including a rather luxurious life in the House of Vestal Virgins, punishment for breaking the rules were severe. The punishment for breaking the vow of chastity was death by burial alive as this was the adopted to kill a vestal without shedding her blood. Such executions would take place in the "Evil Fields", or Campus Sceleratus, just outside the Servian Wall. Their lover would be flogged to death on the Comitium. While these executions took place several times, it was obviously a rare event that carried all sorts of negative omens with it.

While the Pontifex Maximus continues to the present day as an office of the higher order in the Catholic Church, the order of the vestals was disbanded in 394 AD, when non-Christian cults were banned by Theodosius. The Church, wisely trying to keep the general population with a sense of familiarity, readily adopted the use of convents and position of nuns that held many of the same rules and customs as the Vestals. eden Baubo's Garden