Words from the Heart

I am working with 3 other writers on a performance piece and we just performed it last night for the first time to a "safe" group of friends for their input and critiques. Two of us have been performing all our lives in bands, in theatre, and the other two have never performed before so we thought it necessary to "practice" it before setting it free to the world.

What came out of that evening was very thought provoking. One of the topics we are writing on is Mothers. It is the strongest and most profound group of the 5 topics we have chosen. It also elicited the most profound comments.

I came from what I am now calling, The Freddy Kruger Family. I don't think I need to explain it further than that. My mother piece reflected my story of years ago when I was kidnapped at knife point. My family did NOT come to my side with compassion or assistance to get me through the aftermath of that experience.

So, after years of telling my story, I am fully healed from it and can tell it with humor and peace. I think it took all those years of telling it to heal from it. I was unaware of it at the time, but telling your story is a very healing process. I have written the story from a very healed person's perspective, complete with sarcasm and humor. Unfortunately, when I read it to this audience, I received not so good reviews.

Why!?!? It is the best story I have ever written!!! What it did was horrify the audience who then told me that they wanted to badly to feel bad for me but couldn't be cause I was so angry about it!. I was not and am no longer angry at ALL! And it is very hard to accept any type of criticism as I lived my whole life getting criticized so, yeah, I am a bit sensitive.

BUT, because of how I grew up, I took the criticism to heart, thinking I was less than, and stayed up most of that night reworking, rereading, etc. What they were looking for was some fear or vulnerability from that experience. Okay, I can do that. And being an actress, I mostly reworked my delivery. I also added two additional lines and wrote back in some lines I had initially taken out.

I talked to a good friend who was there the next day and she said our work really made the audience think, A LOT, and most were still talking about it the next day. Great! That is just what you want out of a show. But the most important thing she told me was that she realized from my story who was the bad guy. And it wasn't my perpetrator. It was my family, for not supporting me with compassion and love. Her words were soft, kind, and she relayed that my experience showed me how to find people to attach to who loved me. These people, decades later, in hearing my stories, had more love and compassion for me than a lifetime from my own family.

And I am profoundly grateful. And what a opportune time of the year to give thanks. To myself for "making it" and for my truly wonderful husband, sons and friends. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Green and the Heart Chakra

Valentine's Day is upon us. People usually associate the holiday with the color red. And while red is a color associated with the Heart Chakra, so is green. Green is the color we associate with the Heart Chakra. Remember "green with envy"? When the energy of the heart is out of balance, the color green almost seems to 'harden'. When the heart is in balance the following qualities come out in a person. • Is a very talkative soul. • Open and friendly nature. • They need to feel happy about things rather than own things. • They are very aware of their conscience, so tend to be honest and trustworthy. • Often need to talk about what's bothering them - to try and make sense of it themselves. • Physically express themselves, their emotions and feelings can flow. • Tend to be very quick minded, and are good problem solvers. When the heart chakra is out of balance, a person may have the following behaviors. • May be quite controlling and resistant to change around them. • May lose heart and faith in relationships and situations, becoming very lethargic. • May withdraw from people if they have been out of balance for some time or deeply disillusioned in the past and find it hard to open their heart again and trust. • If they don’t find a strong love connection they can turn to a love for success and wealth instead, seeming to others self centered and mean. Green is often referred to as a healing color, it is also a color of growth and expansion. Because of its' association to Mother Nature it is of course organic and wholesome too. So put on some green for Valentine's Day this year and enjoy!