2010...Bring it on!!!

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities." Janos Arnay That is my goal for 2010. Oh, I know, easier said than done. Or, how the heck does that have any bearing on what is going on and what does that even mean? I was talking with a friend in the store yesterday. He has been bugging me to create a picture for my website and what I want it to look like. Easier said than done. Firstly, I have no money to create a new website. Secondly, that requires me to to have an idea of where I want to go, which for me means, what do I want to be when I grow up. And in a way, I DO know what I want to be when I grow up, and what I want that place to look like. It's just getting there that has me baffled. I guess that is a good thing. while my head is still behaving as if it is on crack, all else is quiet. My thoughts are racing but my path is oblivious to me. Being that I like to always be in control of everything in my life, I am so NOT in control right now and I have begun releasing my hold and control on something I never had in my control to begin with. First of all, the recession has left me with no answers for anything. me and all my fellow merchants on the street are struggling just to keep our doors open. I, or they, have done nothing different, haven't behaved in any way that would keep customers away, and yet, we are all baffled as to what has happened, and how to proceed. I thought I had all the answers, but alas, I have NO answers. So.....I have decided that this is a good place to begin for 2010. I heard myself making all kinds of excuses to my friend yesterday for why I had not made a plan, list, whatever, for where I thought I might want to start. That is definitely NOT me. I make a plan and move forward till the project is done. I always have. So why is now different? Well, nothing at all makes sense anymore so I have decided to just LET GO. No choice but to. "Om Nams Narayani", a mantra I have found that means, "I surrender to the Divine." It comes to basically thinking happy thoughts and all will be well. In a very very simplistic way that is correct. I just have to know that all will be well, that I will move ahead and be fine, that all the seeds I have planted, if only in my head, will sprout and fruit. I know they will. They always have. Another friend who is a life coach, gave 4 friends a list to fill out before our meeting with her. it is all based on the laws of attraction. Think about the following and how you would complete the following lists: Master Dream List - Imagine what you want your life to be, that all your dreams have come true. What does that look like? Emotional Dream List - How will you feel living in your idea future? Relationship and Family Dream List - Describe your ideal loving relationship. What qualities are you looking for in all your relationships? How would you live? What would you do with them? Career and Financial Dream List - What would it feel like working at your ideal career with all your monetary dreams and goals realized? Social Dream List - What does socially successful mean to you? What contributions would you make to the world. Physical Dream List - What does it look like to be fit, healthy and totally enjoying being your physical self? Mental Dream List - What would you like to creatively develop and express? What do you want to learn? Spiritual Dream List - What spiritual, ethical and evolutionary state do you desire? What inspires you to be the best you can be? I have just drawn a picture of my website for 2010. It has arrows and dotted lines and lots of text. I have just drawn a map. Rudimentary, yes, but the first step to getting me where I know I will be. I know what it feels like to be there. But I have just began paving the road that will get me where I already am in the deepest part of my soul. I have created the lists above. They aren't complete, they are just a beginning. Below is a quote I found years ago, that is one of many in a folder I keep and continue to add to. Funny, my son gifted me with the book this quote comes from, just this Christmas. There are no coincidences. "You will touch mud and it will become a lotus. You will be able to become an alchemist. But it is possible only through great awakening of intelligence, great awakening of the heart." Osho, excerpted from The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha 2010: Can't wait to see what enfolds.....bring it on!

Transition

This whole transition thing has got me all in a tizzy. I wonder sometimes why my lesson seems never to be learned!!! Or does it continue to morph into a new lesson I need to learn. A good friend told me the other day, (when I was fretting over my business and how I was going to make ends meet, la la blah, blah, and all that...) that I must stop fretting and think happy thoughts (not exactly in those words but something like that). What she was referring to was manifestation. I know all this and am a firm believer in that you plant a seed, water it a bit now and then, and it usally grows. I have seen this first hand, with my businesses. I also know that it is hard to think those happy thoughts when stress has you in its grips! I mentioned in another post that I had seen an akashic soul reader (they read the life and purpose of your soul in your lifetimes) I had asked her when it would be time to see her again. She said what she read that day had opened it up to the universe and I would know when it was time again to see her. Hmmmmm, very cryptic! But now I see that the ideas that came forth during that reading have now begun to manifest. I had ideas and plans but no pathway for them to present themselves. Since then, people have come forward and a meager path has been created. Did I do that by myself? Is it magic? Coincidence? Whatever it is and how it came to be, my ideas are sprouting leaves. I do continue to search for that portal to the next transition, the next phase in my life. I know it is nearby if I keep my eyes and heart open. And all else will fall away that is not necessary. I know it is never easy. Even the outgrown people, ideals, dreams were once my truest companions. But they have grown stale and outgrown their purpose. Or maybe they have transitioned into something new that is right in front of me and I have yet to recognize. Letting go is always hard. I am the first to admit I hang on till the bitter end, hoping it's not so for any particular "dead or dying" thing in my life. But they have to go. Room has to be made for the new that is trying to sprout under all the debris, like the smallest saplings in the deep forest. And maybe, just maybe, (because I can't let go of certain outgrown or dying things), just maybe when room is made for the new, that new light that is created can feed that "certain thing" and bring it back to life, in new form, like the phoenix rising from the ashes.

Spiral Symbol

I got my first tattoo a little over a year and a half ago. It includes a picture of the goddess spiral.

A Spiral is one of the ancient Goddess symbols, as a sign of Life. As such, it is also one of the primary Wicca symbols.

A Spiral is a created by a Circle moving forward, so to speak. As the Wheel turns, you come around again, but not to the same point as before. You arrive at same place, but on a new level. A spiral line uncoiling is "the movement of creation," according to Arthur Avalon in Shakti and Shakta.

The Spiral represents the path of life - from your Essence, outward to the world. Or, depending on your perspective, from worldly existence to spiritual Essence. As Walker so eloquently phrases it, a Spiral represents "death and rebirth as movement into the disappearing-point of formlessness, and out of it again, to a new world of form."

The Spiral is one of the most common natural shapes, seen in nature from galaxies to sea shells to the pattern of a falcon's dive.  Spirals have been primary Goddess symbols since the late Paleolithic. It is the symbol of the womb, of fertility, the feminine serpent force. It represents continual change and evolution and the interconnectedness of all things.

It has always attracted me and I've come back again and again to the meaning behind the symbol, that I am continuing to evolve, from inner life and soul to outer soul and higher spirit, to become the goddess within. The goddess is the divine that resides in the heart of all wherever there is love, compassion and mercy.