Dumping

Tonight I gave away more supplies from my last incarnation. Boxes and boxes of dried herbs, candle making supplies, pots, dried flowers, left out the back door and entered into a car that would drive them to a not-for-profit organization who would recycle them into the same crafts I originally bought them for.

It's funny how life cycles, down to flower picks and adaptable tools from 20 years of horticulture programming. It made me feel good to know that these items wouldn't go to a landfill, that some child or person with a disability would benefit. And so my work continues, work that I left behind two years ago now.

Work that I will probably go back to some day. Don't' we all do that? In some form, in some recycled way. Life keeps turning itself over and over. Nothing is new. It may look and feel new, but if you look closely, it is just a shiny new coat of paint over an old and comfortably worn job, or idea, or hobby. That's why it is so comfortable and feels like home.

And when we learn something new, it is woven into our old, comfy ways of doing things. It all becomes part and parcel to our wonderful selves. Yes, aging can have it's aggravations, like stiff joints and a few extra whiskers where there once were none. But it also gives you more patience, more wisdom, more skills.

So now, as I wake each morning with unease, I know I've been there before. Oh, yeah, transition. Done that before. Yeah, it's tough. It doesn't feel good, this out with the old to make way for the new. But I know it will pass. It always does. So now I look at it with wonder and excitement (after I've dealt with the early morning panic!) and know there is some exciting new stuff that is out there brewing. And it's brewing with some of the old stuff, which seasons the pot and makes for a better outcome.

I'm just one big recycled life. But no one picked up my old life in their car tonight. Just some old stuff pushed out of an old life.