Alone and Awake

Sleepless, so get stoned, fall in love with your children all over again, panic, gasp for a breath and wonder if anxiety is becoming the norm. Look where you've gone, been to, going to, long for, escape from, retreat to the imaginings of an ever youthful heart that thinks life began an hour ago. Long for dirt trails and hoofed animals, barns and pooches, a walk in your beloved birches, the only tree you know, but why not, you only need one kind to love...me, sons, a life better than on the planet of loons where you find yourself working today and wondering how you got there in the first place. Lessons waiting for mastering if you could only figure out whom the teacher is and what the fuck she is mumbling under her breath. A course you completed years ago.

And I miss you.  Alone, awake, stoned.