Meditation Prayer

I was meditating this morning as I try to do each and every morning before work, and found it turned into prayer instead of quiet meditation. Monkey mind is always with me during these sessions, even more so these days. Lately it is really hard to quiet and calm my mind. Chanting helps. Mind you I always move from meditation to another position where I Do pray and ask for guidance and healing.

But this morning nothing was working and I found myself praying only. I pray to all powers - Gods, Goddesses, Angels, you name it. Broaden the base so to speak for more coverage? So I didn't fight it and I prayed. I prayed for a quiet mind (!); I prayed for my business: I prayed for my husband to find peace these days in his hectic and overwhelming job; I prayed for my older son, the musician (quite talented), to find his success and happiness; and I prayed for my own peace of mind.

This liminal phase I am in is quite frustrating. I feel all mushy and not quite cooked for the next phase. And I never give myself time for these transitions. Like Veruka Salt, "I want it NOW!"

I also need a vacation desperately and luckily and finally am soon to get it! Yeah!

According to the website Meditation Truth,
            in some traditions the words prayer and meditation are
            used interchangeably.There are Buddhist and Catholic
            and Hindu and Jewish meditation practices that involve
            repeating or focusing on or contemplating some religious
            passage or idea.

According to Brother Aleksei (www.brother-aleksei.org),
            when you choose to combine prayer and meditation, that
            is to take a specific request into the space of your
            communion with God, always begin with
            acknowledging and affirming the Presence.
(Okay, so my presence includes EVERYONE – angels, goddesses, etc.)
          Then make a conscious interior movement in your heart to
           surrender your will and meditate on your request. Meditate
          from a feeling as if your request has been already granted
           while immersing your heart in a deep emotion of gratitude and
           love. Your request will immediately begin to take form. It may
          take some time before you can see the result, but have faith
          that it is gestating, just like a seed you plant into a fertile soil.
          Cultivate it, protect it from any doubts and fears.
(I have done this. I HAVE planted seeds. Good to know I am on the right path! I like this next one…)
           Do not dig up the seed to check if it has sprouted yet.

If I continue to meditate and believe in the prayer (seed), the seed will sprout, maybe not in the way you originally though because, remember, it has a life of its own now.

So, I guess I am okay with this morning’s prayer meditation. I was always told to quiet the mind when meditating, clear the mind of thoughts, ideas, let them go when they pop in (monkey mind!). But it is also okay for the meditation to be something else. Who am I to fight it? Let it be what it wants to be. Let go of all expectations and “it” will happen.